I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
