This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
