Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
