dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
