He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
