I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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