its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
