If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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