At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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