when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
