I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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