erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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