Well douche your snatch and let's go!
thus making me awesome and them whores
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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