i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
