you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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