Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sergantnasty hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret

Fav 4 4007 1248
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...

Fav 18 1039 3948
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

Fav 19 5729 1152
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

Fav 8 2561 2083
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

Fav 9 2435 1002
share tweet
(563): View more from Iowa

I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.

Fav 3 1933 699
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

Fav 3 1241 789
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks

Fav 4 1190 623
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing

(914): View more from New York

Only at UConn...

Fav 0 65 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT