how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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