It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
