How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
