I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
