the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We don't watch enough power rangers
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
