White coat. Heels.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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