everyone is single if you try hard enough
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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