I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
