I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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