She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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