Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize