they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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