A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
this will be a night to untag.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
