Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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