time to smoke my breakfast
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
