508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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