she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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