I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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