I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
50% drunk capacity currently
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
