so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
