Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
