He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize