Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
