ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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