I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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