I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
