Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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