she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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