Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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