I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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