I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
