all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
