similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
