bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
