Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
