So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize