We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
