oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
