My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
