Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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