i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize