I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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