Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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