he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
